And then there were 5...

The Arrival of Quentin James

An excerpt from my journal-February 1st, 2012

"Quentin will be here soon! But hopefully he will wait one more week, we have lots going on and Jeanne (my midwife) won't be back in town until the 3rd. I'm hoping Eden gets to keep her own birthday weekend as well. I'm really in no great rush to have this baby. I'm sore, tired, and irritable, yes, but the days are going fast so I can't complain. It's funny, I felt so much more prepared for Eden's birth, like I had it all planned out from the labor pool to the delivery pictures. I have all those things lined up this time but it's almost like I know it won't go as planned. Not in a bad way, just a different way. I'm not nervous though. I have so much peace that everything will turn out beautifully."

I woke up on the morning of the 3rd ready and eager to celebrate Eden's 2nd birthday. Her party was scheduled for the following afternoon so I had lots of things to get prepared. Unfortunately all the kids woke up sick and sniffling that morning, and poor Eden was running a slight fever. I started to realize at that point that our weekend plans might not play out quite like we thought. I got the kids situated at the table with breakfast and waddled my way to the bathroom, only to discover that I had lost the rest of my plug. That's when I knew there would be no Yo Gabba Gabba party that weekend...we were having a baby instead! I sent Kyle a text to let him know and I do believe his exact reply was "Woot woot!" Clearly this wasn't his first rodeo.

I went through the rest of the day cleaning the house from top to bottom and spending time with the kids. I picked up my youngest sister and she helped me run a bunch of last minute errands, because it turns out, you cannot have a home birth without an adequate supply of Dark Chocolate Almond milk in your fridge. I wasn't having many contractions at this point but after a morning spent in frantic preparation I managed to sneak in a nap with the birthday girl while my sister watched the boys.

After dinner that night I started noticing the contractions. Now, I have contractions pretty much from the time I find out I'm pregnant (that's a mild exaggeration), but these I actually paid attention to because they were the "wrap around to your back, leave you gripping the breakfast bar" type contractions. I began to wonder if Eden and Quen would share a birthday. They were coming every 8-10 minutes so I tried to sleep. I would drift off and then wake up as another contraction was coming. The contractions never got any closer together. I spent most of the night up rocking on the birth ball, but I did manage to get a few broken hours of sleep.

That next morning I woke up thankful to still be pregnant but really confused by my contraction pattern. I told Kyle that I couldn't figure out why the contractions were so intense and yet remained so far apart. I had never experienced anything like it. I called my midwife, (who was back in town by this point, thank heavens) and she suggested that I do some stair walking and leg lifts to get his head in a better position. After about an hour of that I decided to go a step further and booked an appointment with my chiropractor. She squeezed me in first thing that morning and sure enough, my hips had been misaligned and my round ligaments were tight. I left her office and even walking felt different, I could tell Quen had turned and he was lower than ever! Once we were home I took a long walk down our driveway to get the mail, and then made the long trek two more times to bring up our garbage bins. Kyle thought I was crazy. I wouldn't have been so eager to get labor going if my body hadn't been sending clear signals that it was trying very hard to have this baby. I came back in an laid down for about an hour. I woke up to a text from my midwife saying she was coming over to check me. We were both very curious to know how dilated I was and what position baby's head was in.

"You're a 4! You're in active labor." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My midwife Jeanne, told me she was going to grab a bite to eat and stay in the area for a couple hours just to be safe. She left all her equipment at my house when she left. I shut the door behind her and turned to Kyle and said, "Ha, she must think we're having a baby tonight." I really didn't believe it. She had encouraged me to get somewhere quiet and clear my mind, as if somehow I was the one holding up labor from progressing. Was I? As I sat there thinking about it I began to feel the lightheaded, fuzzy, floaty feeling of labor land creeping up on me. I immediately called my mom to come get the kids. I knew that if I could get my mind off of sick babies, canceled birthday parties, and frustrating contractions, I might just have this baby. Within 10 minutes of Jeanne leaving our house my contractions went from every 8 minutes to every 5 minutes. It was a mad dash from there on out: filling the birth pool, packing the kids bags, gathering supplies.

We called Jeanne again around 6:30 to tell her the contractions were coming every 3 minutes and lasting about 45 seconds long. She hurried over and called Joy, our other midwife. When she arrived she checked me again and I was 6 cm dilated so I got in the labor pool and rested. We spent the next couple hours laughing, talking, and taking breaks for contractions. It was truly was the most enjoyable labor I've ever had. I remember no pain at all. The atmosphere was so warm and comfortable, there with all my favorite people, my midwives, and Ray LaMontagne playing softly in the background.

Around 9pm Jeanne asked if she could check me to see how things were progressing and I was shocked to learn I was a complete 10. I didn't feel 10 cm dilated at all! I never even felt transition! I was truly in a blissful state with all the endorphins in my system. It was wonderful. My midwife told me to go ahead and push when I felt like it, so I waited, and waited and waited, and nothing happened. Then Jeanne suggested that we move to our bedroom so I could lay down and try a few good pushes so my water would break and sure enough, it did. I kept waiting to feel my body take over, for that involuntary urge to push, but it never came. I was having to muster all the strength I could to push through a contraction, all the while my mind was reeling, wondering why this was so hard when Eden's birth had been so easy! Long story short, I pushed for 2 hours. 2 hours! My midwife diligently worked with me to get Quen to rotate through the birth canal. We kept changing positions and each time he would descend making a bit more progress. It was slow and steady but it felt never ending to me. To be honest, I really wanted to give up. I didn't want to push one more time, I was beyond exhausted, but I just kept going, because, what choice did I have? I am so thankful that I had such a creative and supportive team of people around me because I drew from their strength in those moments leading up to his arrival. In retrospect it was clear that his little shoulders were hanging him up, keeping him from rotating easily, and keeping me from feeling "right" about pushing. Finally, after those intense and very challenging couple of hours, Quentin James was born, just before midnight on February 4th. He weighed 7lbs 2oz, and was 20.5 inches long. Much to our surprise he was born with a head full of black hair! I was so relieved to be done pushing, and so glad to have our little man earthside!

His birth really taught me that every birth is so different. I knew that going in, but I was really surprised, in a new way, by what effort it takes to give birth. In the days after his birth I began to wonder how things might have been different had I had him in a hospital with their policies about how "long" a labor "should" be, or how long is considered "too" long to push, and I was met by an overwhelming thankfulness that I was surrounded by skilled women, supportive women who trusted the process and gave me the time and encouragement it took to bring our sweet little boy into this world, into our home. We are so thankful, and so in love.